InFiniTe DeSires

July 2005 - 7th Mth

2005-07-14T01:13:00.000+08:00

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! GOODNESS!!! Its the 7th mth of the year! Its been so long!

Hi hi hi! Anyone missed my words? My blog seems to be breeding spiders and spinning webs. For those who wondered where have I been, READ on. ;)

Ok, its official finally that I'm no longer in the sales line. I've quitted. Resigned to the fact that sales is not my cup of tea. But I still sell my silliness to people around me daily. I'm currently in the business of keeping people happy and satisfied at the expense of my personal time and well-being. However, the job that I'm holding now gives me more satisfaction and more responsibility. Its a 54 hour per week job. The satisfaction comes when I'm able to finish the over-whelming tasks that customers pile on me daily. Even though my eye sight is failing me little by little daily from staring at my huge 21 inch monitor, I'm still satisfied leaving my desk at near 10pm daily. I tell myself constantly that only the fittest will survive and stay in this job. Its war everyday! Sometimes we win, but these days the casualties are heavier.

Its crazy! Customers screaming, tasks piling by the minute, superiors breathing down your neck, negligible toilet breaks as there is never really time for that, huge burden to clear work during lunch-out, nagging inner voices tell of eat-in lunches daily to finish clearing the work, constant tugging in my heart to tender my resignation, further consistent tugging of the heart to handle more customers for a better year-end appraisal, hungry tummy daily as dinner is skipped to earn extra $20 for extra 2 hrs of OT, snacking constantly on junk food to subsitute as regular meals and always getting completed tasks rejected by other depts. Not an easy job. Anyone want to work in this line? We're still recruiting ... ... since most people cannot take prolonged pressure. But I need this job. I have my dream that I'm working towards. Its a hard life. Its never been a bed of roses for me, neither has it been for most people ... so no point complaining. I just want my dream to come true in 1.5 years time.

Internally I've been reminding and consoling myself so as not to give up half-way as I've done in most of my life. I see the reward before me. White, glorious and pretty. I want a bride. A family. A life. I'm glad that I have someone who is working with me currently to fulfill my dream. Its been 7 months. 17 more months before I can fully realized my hard work. She's my comfort and my confidence.

All these time that I've not been able to blog is mostly because my time is committed to my work. My short weekends are spent with church, friends, family and Kai. Therefore I'm left with little or almost no time to do anything else. Btw I'm also having driving lessons after work, and I'm starting to train for my IPPT when I'm home after work. I'm stretched! But it feels good to blog again. 2 hrs less sleep for me tonight. Heh!

I'll be back again ... ... soon?

May 2005

2005-05-28T10:19:00.000+08:00

My long awaited first entry since 58 days ago. Have you missed my blogging!!!!! keke

Have I been down recently that I had nothing to write about in my own blog? Well, I've been rather busy with my work and daily activities. Once I hit home, I'm normally totally drained and brain dead. Its not that I have lost expressing myself over the web to expose the nitty gritty details about my life. Blogging takes up a lot of my time, as I have to sift out only the highlights of my life. As I have a tendency to "just do it" and writing all the juicy details of my life. Hurhur.

Firstly, I would like to thank Yuyun for this wonderful blog template that she has chosen for me. Hurhur. Its a far cry from my wild clubbing days. As I was shopping in Takashimaya yesterday,I happened to remember that my most handsome friend Marcus is working at Ralph Lauren boutique. He is tall, fair and very much like Takashi. If you are single and would like to get to know a pretty boy, just look for him. There is only one Takashi-looking guy there, so its quite easy to spot him. Both of us used to hang out together playing games, clubbing, having midnight suppers and wallowing in sorrow daily. I realized that I have changed quite a fair bit ever since then. No more clubbing, smoking, late suppers and wallowing in sorrow! Life is pretty good now. Best of all, I'm back to church again. Heh. And I thank Yuyun again for the blog template that fits my life so appropriately now.

Recently, I realized that I have a very strong desire to dominate and influence people if I'm given a chance. However, if there are stronger Alpha males around then my true self would normally be subdued. I have a bunch of new colleagues mostly ladies. I feel "myself" when I can crack childish and silly jokes, and seeing them laugh in horror that an older guy like me can be this silly. However, I feel self-assured and confident of my own value even though I'm making a fool of myself. At least I feel appreciated amongst my colleagues for lighting my their working environment.

Nothing can really get me down on my mood, unless someone really criticizes my character or my balding head, or if my Kai is in PMS mood. Hurhur. Yesterday, I tried out a new trick to pacify Kai before she feels frustrated and become unhappy. I told her to scold my palm and frustrate all at my palm. Keke. It worked! She was giggling after that. It just feels really good to be able to understand and have a deeper understanding of the needs your partner has.

Well, my dear friends ... I miss you! Especially those overseas friends! Will you just pack up and come back!

The Sith RuleS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kekeke

Good Morning!!!

2005-04-04T08:55:00.000+08:00

Its a Monday morning again!!! As usual, I overslept again on a Monday morning even though I slept early the night before. I presume its due to the fact that psychologically I dread facing the "terrifying" customers that also bemoan the blue Monday. All in all, its a vicious cycle whereby Monday would always feel blue throughout all levels of the working society. At least I'm able to seek comfort in God and the memories I had over my wonderful weekend.

Monday seriously sucks but I feel assured and given strength whenever I whisper a help to God. It works somehow. At least I feel that I'm able to survive through this day with at least 1 angel guarding my back, if not hopefully 10,000 legions of angels. Heh. I doubt I ever need a request for such a fearsome force on my back.

Good morning! Thats the first thing I would like to to say to Kai each day coupled with kiss. Ahhhh ... I had such a wondrous weekend with her. We actually wanted to have a weekend of suntanning, swimming, rollar-blading or maybe even rowing. However, the weather over the weekend was not favorable for such activities. So off we went for KTV sessions on Saturday with a group of friends. Hahaha. Kai was singing song after song, performing her little elva and jolin concert. Lalalalalala ... hurhur. Life's really good for me nowadays. But time always flashes by, regardless of how many days I spend with her.

My First Trip To Batam

2005-03-07T18:11:00.000+08:00

There are four reasons why Singapore would visit Batam. Firstly, Batam is a place where older men from Singapore would take trips there to visit their mistresses at the Er-nian village for a cheap rendevous over the weekends. Secondly, Singapore take a 45 min ferry trip all the way to the little island to buy groceries because it is three times cheaper. Thirdly, people go there for lewd purposes, to take drugs because its considered legal to take in their night spots, gamble and to have engage in prostitution. The fourth reason, people go Batam for a quick and affordable weekend getaway from work!.

My trip there was not of any lewd purpose but to spend time there with Karen and friends. Our group consisted of about 24 people. Some wanted to go shopping, some wanted to experience the vibrant weekend night life, some just wanted to relax and some just wanted time off from work. Whatever the reason was, it was still a wonderful experience for me.

The first night after we touched down from the ferry, we headed for Novotel Hotel for a shower then straight to the largest techno disco in Batam. Its just directly opposite our hotel. Initially, we were all excited and looking forward to a great time of dancing and drinking. However, it was a great let-down. The drinks there were priced only slightly cheaper than in Singapore clubs. And the music was strictly only for ecstasy pill-poppers. The beat of the music was too fast. The only part of our body that could keep up with the music was our head. So we left the God-forsaken place within an hour. Headed straight back to our room and ordered some supper. Slept around 3am.

Next day, we went for a city tour. The only memorable time we had was at the massage palour and the go-kart race circuit. Karen and I opted for a body scrub cum massage. I wanted the body scrub because I know that not many people had the strength or the techniques to offer me a good massage. So having a body scrub would be a better value for money option. My skin felt sooooo smooth and clean after the wondrous scrub. I felt that I need not scrub my back for the next 3 days. Heh.

The next memorable moment was my first experience at go-karting!!! EVERYONE should try it! Even though the helmets are smelly and full of other people's perspiration. But nothing beats turning at full speed on go-kart and feeling the centrifugal force threatening to flip over the go-kart. Shiok! Heh. I'm a seasoned driver with "NEED FOR SPEED". So I started the race going at full speed not fearing the sharp bends until I nearly flipped at my first turn. Damn shiok! I raced with a colleague and was at his tail for almost half the circuit, and I overtook him at a bend. Hurhur. Damn i'm good. Heh. However, my complacency got the better of me as he took over me later and 3 other guys. I did not want to lose so I sped up and overtook two more guys. The need for speed is exhilarating. And the feeling of having my go-kart spin off track was really heart-pounding. I had a blister on my thumb after the race. That was how exciting and physically demanding it was to race at high speed.

I spent around $300 for a 3 days 2 night stay at Batam, which I think was considered expensive because it was excluding meals. Afterall, the trip was just a medium for Karen and me to have a weekend getaway together and learn to be happy depending on each other.

The awesome race

"5" ... me overtaking the best racer!

Our little messy room

Me and the cutie little Kelly and her suave daddy

Karen and baby Kelly

2 months

2005-02-25T07:48:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since I blogged. I have been busy with work and spending time with my sweetheart. Heh. Probably a little too busy for anything else, which kind of explains the 2 month "pregnant" look of my tummy. Arghhhhhhh!!!

Well, at least I know Karen still loves me despite of my manly pregnanted tummy. However, I did not want to let my 2 months become 9 months so I brought Karen out for 2 sessions of roller-blading. Its really great holding her hand while roller blading along the east coast park. Good for my idling heart and great for seeing my girl in wet perspiration.

I'm going to take up a gym membership to pump up my chest so that my tummy would not be the centre of attraction. Heh. The theory is that guys are always more attracted to full bosoms. So if I have a bigger chest, then I would deem to have a smaller tummy. This gym membership is actually a free membership for a year at Crown Prince Hotel if I purchase a $180 massage and facial package. Heh. I think its a pretty good deal. Although the gym is pretty small with only 1 weights machine and 1 sit-up bench and 1 treadmill only. However, I'm able to make use of the swimming pool. And all these in the very heart of Orchard Road! A great deal!

My Friend, David

2005-01-27T18:54:00.000+08:00

He is tall, tanned, lanky and decked with high-tech gadgets and fancy sports shoes. He dresses himself in baggy and large clothings that make him look bigger in life. He rides a Super-4 that i can safely ride and sleep as a pillon rider even when i am drunk. We got drunk and danced together at a particular spot at Madam Wong every Sun, Mon and Tue for a couple of months. As much as we were like to have a bevy of girls with us sharing our bottle of Vodka, we were always alone without girls!

This post is a dedication to the one friend that i could turn to whenever i needed help. He is full of crap, speaks giberish and is extremely childish. Always being silly, acting cute and moody. But a very supportive friend. If anyone wants to write a biography of me, can always go to him as he has most of my deepest secrets. I feel so indebted to him at times. There are so many good times we had together throughout those 12 years.

He taught me the ropes for basketball, counter-strike, in-line skating and in-line skating hockey. During secondary school, we hung out almost everyday playing basketbal or hanging out. He was weird. I remembered me catching a movie lying on the floor at the front row of the cinema because he does not wish to strain his neck looking up on the screen. He was always trying to do something different from others.

We lost touch for some time during my polytechnic days as we were pre-occupied with our own personal lives. We reconciled during my army days and went out to play late at night. Heh. Those were the good fun times when we were both single and carefree. Those days are numbered as he is on his way to Australia for studies. He would only be back 4 years later. My heart dropped when he told me that he would have to go so soon. I was expecting him to leave after Chinese New Year.

My dear friend ... i wish you all the best in your studies! Do come back soon. I still own you a bottle!

My New "24" Hours

2005-01-21T15:38:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered that 24 hrs a day is simply too little? I used to feel that I had too much time in my hands. However, recently I have felt that my time is so finite. My 1 hr lunch with Kai always seems like only 15 mins. My "old" 24 hrs always felt draggy. Now I just do not seem to have enough hrs in my standard day.

There is nothing special about my daily activities. I eat, sleep, work, pah toh and live a common life. However, I realized that the time I spent traveling now is similar to people in Los Angeles. They spent an average of 4 hrs each day traveling. I have not achieved that standard yet but I'm a little close on certain days. I'm not complaining or whining here. But I realized that I have actually shifted out of my comfort zone progressively. Initially I was expected to only travel to boon lay momentary to send Kai home. But as the days went by, sending Kai home became a part of me. It has drawn me closer to her as I sent her home each time. Somehow, I'm accustomed to the torturous long traveling time and I'm beginning to enjoy the nap time on the rocky ride home.

Sending my gfs back home was never my favourite activity. Its physically demanding and tiring. Hence, I would rather spend the time playing computer games or watch telly. I'm the "ultimate" slacker bf. However as i grow older in age, my maturity towards my life changes too. I define maturity as the ability to accept more responsibilites. Kai is my responsibility now. I do not even think twice about sending Kai home now. Furthermore, her neighborhood is so scary. I can't imagine my baby having to go back alone late at night without an escort. She is afraid of cockroaches, cats and there are plenty of perverts around! I can't bare the thought of her jumping up and down upon seeing the pests. Haha.

I have allowed myself to mature and be consume by love. I define love as a willingness to sacrifice for someone whom I am affectionately attached to. Being consumed by love and responsibility, has made me stronger physically and mentally, even though it is extremely draining. But I have not fallen seriously ill since 26 Oct 2004. I have spent longer hours outdoors each time I send Kai home, yet I am still able to function as per normal. I feel as if I'm able to stretch myself even more now in my limited 24 hrs. I feel more in control of myself as I strive to achieve my goals.

My outstanding colleague and bro Vincent once told me that I am similar to him in personality pertaining to relationship and career. He mentioned that as long as I have a stable relationship, I would be able to focus on career and on other aspects of my life. His words are becoming reality now. My 24 hrs are longer now.

My 2005 New Year's Resolution

2005-01-11T11:17:00.000+08:00

What is a Resolution? Its defined as the state or quality of being resolute; FIRM DETERMINATION.

Almost every year I have been told to ponder, reflect and then to ponder and reflect again before churning out a list of goals and decisions I would stick to and hopefully achieve. Over the years, I have made numerous resolutions and also failed numerously to fulfill them. Year after year, my resolve to make such decisions have faltered tremendously to a point that i feel its just emotional stirring of the heart to achieve something that i don't really need or want.

Every year, my superiors in different aspects of my life would encourage me to chart my path for the new year and if "i fail to plan, i plan to fail". Looking back at my life, i realised that those words are true to a certain extend. I have failed when i did not plan yet i have failed even more at times when i set goals. So what happens now? Heh. Simple. I will set short-term goals and general long term goals.

After pondering for a few weeks on what goals to set. I have finally settled on a few that is of utmost priority to me now.

Current monthly goals to fulfil
Jan - To pass my advance theory test (otherwise people laugh at me again)

Long term goals to fulfil for 2005
1) Save $630/mth for the whole of 2005
2) Close at least 20 cases of $100/mth to save around $1030/mth for the $630/mth savings and to buy "Destiny"
3) To obtain driver's license
4) To faithfully attend church weekly

Hmmm ... i've still yet to draw out a detailed plan of the goals i would like to achieve this year. So i would have to update this post once i've resolved to complete my resolutions.

2004 New Year Eve Snaps

2005-01-07T11:21:00.000+08:00

Countdown @ Marina Mandarin Hotel Lounge

2005, Here We Come

What A Good Looking Couple ... heh!

My Wonderful Colleagues

Feeling A Little High

Another Good Looking Couple

The Beautiful Ladies Of G48

Alls Well Ends Well

2004-12-31T18:08:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year, folkssssssssss!!!! Hurhurhur ... okie its "Happy New Year Eve". This is my last post for the year!

What a year it was for me! Plenty of downfalls, depression, brokenness and worries throughtout the year. Somehow I don't feel like ending the year just yet! Because the last month has been simply too good and wonderful for me.

I was asked to reflect on 2004 by a friend. I did. And I realized that 2004 was really a year of downs for me. The year began with my dad collapsing with fits on the 1st day of the year. My family was thrown into a short period of anxiety. Soon after that, my relationship of 6 years with my then steady gf ended. Followed by, another relationship that threw me into great joy but deeper depression. The anguish was torturous and insanely lonely. I was liken to a madman from my actions.

My dad collasped a second time during the middle of the year. It was worse than the initial collapse. My family braced for the worst as my dad layed unconsciousness for 4 hrs. And at that point of time, my career was facing a downturn too. I was lost, depressed and without hope and support. That period of depression slowly opened my eyes and gave me revelation on how I should re-live my life.

I was depressed for a few months. But in Oct, my life took a turn for better as i began stepping out from my depression gradually. An "angel" came into my life and gave me direction and love. I'm really happy now. I feel settled in my life now. All in all, i'm glad that 2004 ended so well for me. I'm a happy man now. All the downfalls were just stepping stones for me to grow up and be a better man.

I wish all my readers a Happy Happy Glorious New Year with lots of love and friendship!!!

My Simple Christmas

2004-12-26T18:18:00.000+08:00

It was a silent Xmas season for me. I spent my Xmas eve with Kai after my work. I bought some beer and wine intending to get her drunk for once. I've never seen her drunk! But in the end, after drinking a little, both of us just feel asleep. I was too tired after a long day of working, and she was tired after shopping, crawling and squeezing her way out of the pre-celebration crazed crowd. Heh.

Initially, i was cracking my "numb" skull on where could i bring my new love to celebrate our first Xmas together. There were not many choices as i did not have the time and money to plan an elaborate night. I procrastinated about deciding on where to go. I had a few choices. Club, BBQ, private party or romantic chill-out at the beach. Clubbing was out as both of us did not like getting edgy over queueing up at the snakey long queues. BBQ was out as i just did not have time to prepare the food nor did i want to spend an entire night BBQing and smelling like burnt food and charcoal. Private parties were certainly more appealing to me as it would be exclusive and there would be room enough for more "constructive" interaction with more strangers. A night-out at the beach, sipping wine and being feasted by hordes of mosquitos did not seem to go very well either. In the end, a "no" decision became a decision. As i decided to buy some beer and wine to bring back home and drink with Kai. Now i believe that simplicity is bliss. Just keep life simple and focused and there would be less problems.

The problem was not "where to spend Xmas eve" or "what to do on Xmas eve". But the question was, "how to enjoy each other's company on Xmas eve". My Xmas eve this year was so simple yet so blissful. As i learned that its not the activity or venue, but the companionship that brings warmth and joy to the heart.

Kai has made my heart beating with warmth and joy.

A Hectic Working Festive Season

2004-12-19T14:37:00.000+08:00

Xmas brings about joy, love, booze, parties, presents and a whole lot of workload too! Heh. I'll be working hard through the holidays except for Xmas day itself. Hurray! At least, I'm given one holiday to spend with Kai. Its been such a long time since I spent time with her. I kinda miss her already.

Life is truly great now. Even though, i face lots of complications in my work on alternate days. I'm really happy living my life now. When i'm feeling down or am sick, i know there is someone behind me. Its really comforting to have someone supporting me emotionally and spiritually. Kai's doing a great job now. Just make sure she gets her shopping done.

This Xmas is really different from my previous years where I had time to partying and roaming around orchard aimlessly. Those days of joining the rowdy revellers at orchard road are over for me. I'm really getting old and tired of squeezing amidst a bunch of sweaty, stinky and sometimes desperate people. I've heard of girls being groped while thronging through the crowd. Cheapo! Goodness. What other cheap thrills can these sex-deficient psychos can conjure next!

What do I look for during Xmas? What would I expect from Xmas? How would my idea Xmas be?

First and foremost, my Xmas must be spent with someone close to my heart. Someone I love and would like to spend not only this Xmas but a whole life with her. The idea Xmas setting would be in a cottage hut with wooden floor and a cozy fireplace surrounded by cold white snow. Having my love one seated at a cozy couch in my arms sipping red wine and resting our feet on a fur rug. That's my idea, Xmas setting for a couple. I've always wanted to celebrate at least one of my Xmas in this setting, or I would not be able to rest in peace. Heh. Hopefully it'll be next year.

The other best alternative setting would be to have a group of good friends and my sweet heart lounging at the top of the Swiss mountain skiing cottages together with me as their host. YeaaaaaaaHHHHHHhhhhhhhh! Dining and skiing in pure thin fresh air is truly exhilarating. Goodness! The Xmas mood is going to my brain again! Heh

Time to save, save, save ... projected $30,000 in 2 years time ... my divine medium told me to be practical and not have too many wild ideas ... not until i saved this amount ;P

Once More A New Beginning

2004-12-07T01:35:00.000+08:00

6th Dec 2004 - The return of the Prodigal son

I was actually looking forward to my return throughout the whole week. I've been telling my friends that I'm actually returning "home". But as I waited for Kai at Mos burger, doubts and anxiety raced across my mind a million times during the 30 mins wait. I was worried about committing my life to returning "home". I was worried I would disappoint my Father and myself. However, the butterflies in my tummy ceased when I walked into the auditorium. In the first ten minutes that I entered His home, I felt such a welcoming atmosphere as if there were no dark spots on me at all. I felt worthy. I felt that Blood had covered my shame and weakness. I was welcomed back home. I whispered a thank you prayer silently ... ...

28th Nov 2004 - The start of a new struggle

With love in my heart, I made a decision to put aside a habit that would hurt Kai and my family. It was easy initially to stop totally. There was no urge at all in the first few days to pick up a cigarette and start puffing. But as the days went by, the itch of having a puff as I made my way out of my house and puffing after my meals, got stronger and stronger. There were times where i looked anywhere, there were temptations to sneak a whiff of the potent mix of sweet chemicals. I took the challenge on a day to day basis. Each time i passed a counter selling cigarettes, i told myself i could save the money for something more important. I told myself that I had to persevere for myself, Kai and my family. Its a mental challenge. I want to challenge myself not to puff even when i'm facing down times. I began this struggle because I wanted a new beginning. A new life. A new love. A life of commitment and love. Its a struggle that I want to live with now.

26 Oct 2004 - A new journey

It all began with a birthday cookie, wine, beer and a comfy sofa at Mdm Wong. Its the day I met Kai, the Kai i fell in love with. Kai is amazing. I've never been able to hold heart to heart conversations with someone that i'm magnetized with. Kai makes it easy. Time spent with her has been like taking whiskey shots. There is never enough time for me to spend with her. Hours become minutes when we talk. Details in my mind become fuzzy. Leaving only memorable imprints of time spent with her in my heart.

Each time i leave your side, i'm already forgetting the past and yearning to spend new sunrises with you. I hope for much but nothing much.

The Reason

2004-11-30T18:41:00.000+08:00

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

I think i know the reason

Freaky Freaky Test

2004-11-26T19:55:00.000+08:00

I have taken this test and i'm shocked on how accurate it is. Please do take time to read the instructions before you embark on this interesting and freaky test.

This is freaky as HELL... DO NOT CHEAT (You'll
kick yourself later) I was a little skeptical
trying this, but if you follow the instructions to
the "t" you'll be surprised!!!! All of my answers
were accurate. We'll see tomorrow if the wish
comes true. I'll let you know. Take 3 minutes and
try this...it will freak you out! The person who
sent it to me said her wish came true 10 minutes
after they read the mail. BUT NO CHEATING! This
game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read
ahead...just do it in order! It takes about three
minutes...it's worth a try :) First..get a pen
and paper. When you actually choose names,
make
sure it's people you actually know and go with
your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a
time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!
1.First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a
column.
2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write
down any two numbers you want.
3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of
members of the opposite sex. NO LOOKING
AHEAD...OR IT WON"T TURN OUT RIGHT!
4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family....)in
the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.
5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11.
GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!!
6. Finally, make a wish. And now the key for the
game.....
1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people
about this game.
2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.
3.The person in 7 is one you like but can't work
out.
4. You care most about the person you put in 4.
5. The person you name in number 5 is the one
who knows you very well.
6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.
7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the
person in number 3.
8. The title in 9 is the song for theperson in 7
9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most
about YOUR mind.
10. and 11 is the song telling you how you feel
about life NOW...
post this bulletin
(dont reply) within the hour... IF you do.. your
wish will come true... ^_*

*The deepest wishes in my heart about my past, present and future was all captured in this quiz*

Your Priority In Life Test

2004-11-23T20:08:00.000+08:00

Its a simple test ... but interesting ... hahaha ... view my results from the bottom.

Do not look at the bottom yet, note the numbers before doing it.
It only takes 2 minutes. 5 things are happening at the same time in your house which needs your attention.

> 1- The phone is ringing.
> 2- The baby is crying.
> 3- Somebody is knocking at your door.
> 4- You hang out your washing outside and it has started to rain.
> 5- You did not turn off the tap in the kitchen and the water is starting to overflow

> In what order will you solve these problems?

> Note the order in which you would settle these problems on a
> paper and check how your decisions have been taken.

> Do it, the results are very interesting... scroll the bottom
once you have made your choices

Each point represents something in your life.
You can see on the following list the definition of each point:
>1- Phone : work
>2- Baby : family
>3- Door : friends
>4- Washing : money
>5- Water : sex

The succession of numbers you have chosen define the order of your priorities in life.

My priorities in life is 5, 2, 4, 3, 1 = SEX, FAMILY, $, FRIENDS, WORK ... haha ... very true ...

;P

Chill Out Time Part 2

2004-11-20T13:10:00.000+08:00

Its time for pub review again as Kimmie mentioned. Heh. Well, a couple of days ago i brought Kai to a pub called Troppo along the stretch of Mr Bean pubs area. Its located on the second floor. We were just looking for a quiet place to chill and relax our aching body after a long day of work. We were a little lazy to go somewhere far to chill, so off we went to explore the Mr Bean stretch of pubs. I went almost every pub on the 2nd floor till i found Troppo. It was really a sight for sore eyes. We were about to give up and just chill out at some sleazy ktv pub till we found Troppo. When we entered the place, we knew our search had ended. They had huge white soft sofas waiting for us to occupy. It's a homely and quiet pub that serves cheap beer, wine and cocktails. It seems that rowdiness is not encouraged there due to its subdued atmosphere. It comes with a pool table, projector screen for soccer fans and a platform for a live band on weekends. The sofa could probably seat around 10 people but the boss still allowed us to sit even though there were only two of us. The boss is a little gay ... heh.

Been a little busy recently and low on cash to check out other chill out places. So sadly, only one chill-out place being reviewed. Haha ... awaiting my salary to come!

I have a few factors to consider before i deem a chill-out place GOOD! The chill-out place must have the right ambience that encourages conversation. I do not like to have to shout and be shouted just to ask " How was your day?" heh. I would strongly prefer to have a place with really nice comfy sofas where we can rest our big butts for hours. It'll be good if the place provides us with some card games or even a pool table would do. I can't really just sit and do nothing ... i'm not really a conversational person. =P And the place would be perfect if the lights are dimmed and orangy with huge plush sofas and a soft candle light flickering on the table, accompanied by soft jazzy music. Where can i find such a place??? Sound bar gave me an experience that was close to that ... but its lacking in its plush sofas.

Chill Out Time

2004-11-14T16:07:00.000+08:00

I've been chilling out at several places recently. I kinda like the mixture of slow music and good company with some intoxicating poisons to relax the mind, body and soul. A.C.N.A @ somerset Winsland house is good for mingling around with groups of friends. Spent lots of time there recently with my good friends. Just sitting and playing games at the sofa is good for rapport building. They have board games, pool, card games, dice and the occassional chat from the friendly big-eyed waitress, Lyn. I brought my colleagues, my best friends, and my clubbing buddies ... A.C.N.A should pay me a recommendation fee for bringing groups of people there every week. haha.

There is another great chill-out place, Aqua-disiac Bar just outside Wisma Atria that has got a good live band. The music is good at the bar, but its a little too loud for a good conversation to go on. The seats at the bar are a little stiff and uncomfortable. But i think the sofa seats inside the restaurant is so much better. It looks so comfy there. I gotta try it out there next time. Hurhur ... probably next month when i got more $.

However, Sound Bar @ Gallery hotel is truly classic at this moment of the year. They put up red X'mas lights on the trees around the area. I brought Kai to chill there a few nights ago. The moment was magically. The lights, deco, weather ... everything was so perfect. Money can truly contribute to magical moments like that. The drinks there are a little pricey though, but we got a cosy plastic sofa all to ourselves. I've not experienced such a moment before in my life. Happy would not be the word to describe my feelings. The feeling is like that of a "prodigal son returning home". The prodigal son that messes his life and wants to make good his life. However, the prodigal son has a fear of being rejected when he reaches home. As much as he would like to start life anew, his past haunts him. Fire has cleansed his mind and purified his heart. The prodical son seeks for acknowledgement and acceptance.

Detailed Personality And Love Style Test

2004-11-03T01:04:00.000+08:00

Check out this interesting test ... seriously very accurate.

http://f2.compat.personals.yahoo.com/us/compat/gp_pretest?done=&confirm=1

My results for my Love Style is "Passionate":

Passionates have a great capacity to love. In fact, you may have several "great loves" in your lifetime. When you connect with someone it's immediate, intense, and on multiple levels— mental, emotional, spiritual, and sexual. You realize that sometimes love can be brief and other times lifelong. So, you try to enjoy love, avoid the urge to control it, and just see where it takes you.
Physical chemistry is a key part of the initial spark for you. Although people love to talk about sex, the truth is that most people are afraid of their "wild" side. You aren't. You trust your instincts and know exactly who you find attractive and what turns you on. No matter how nice a woman may be, if there's no passion in your first kiss, it's probably not going to work out.
Your approach to love can change over time. Physical passion may become less crucial and commitment may become more important. However, for now your "style" of loving has these common features:
You're looking for a very close, intimate relationship. You want to share every aspect of your life with her and not hold anything back. This means knowing about each other's pasts, including the unflattering parts. Most importantly, though, you should be very open and totally honest about your life now. If you love her, you'll want to know about her hopes and dreams, as well as her fears and insecurities.
You're most likely to fall in love with a woman who is independent by nature. She won't expect to merge her life with yours. Keeping separate friends, for example, will just give you more to talk about when you're together.
Good sexual chemistry is an important ingredient in creating a lasting love. You're not a purist who thinks love is a saintly connection between "friends." You want a lover who connects with you body and soul. Of course, sexual passion can wane over time, so ultimately, affection and companionship must also be key ingredients.
True love requires total commitment. Love can grow only in the safety and security that monogamous commitment provides. Relatively early in dating, both partners should know and talk openly about whether the relationship has lasting potential.

My Personality type is "Explorer":

Like all Explorers, you're driven in life by a combination of curiosity, imagination, and restless dissatisfaction. You're not a conformist and have typically chosen the "road less traveled" rather than go the route society dictates.
Life hasn't worked out as you expected. You have the gift and curse of being able to envision what your future could be. It has set you up for disappointment in the past. On the other hand, life can also be much better than you could expect. Looking back, you realize that some of the most important events in your life weren't planned or anticipated. Your Explorer role models could be Lewis and Clark, who never found the Northwest Passage, but did eventually reach the Pacific, though via routes they could have never imagined.
You have a spontaneous style that helps you roll with the unexpected. You don't like to be boxed into a rigid routine or someone else's rules. Especially during your time off, you'd rather go with the flow than make detailed plans. At times, you've also been known to be impulsive. You don't like being worried or uncertain about decisions. It's way too tempting to act now and think later.
Yet, somehow you make this all work for you. You're not wildly ambitious, but you've made your personality work for you in your career. While other people debate about projects and set up committees, you just move ahead. You'd rather just do it and apologize later, than wait and ask for permission.
Your other great strength is that you're open to change. You don't pretend to be in strict control of your life (and you never try to control other people). If there's a chance to improve your life or make yourself happy, you'll give it a try. Life is a work in progress, and your goal is to keep moving ahead and be open to what life brings you.

damn accurate lor ... try it ... u'll know more abt yourself

Wats Up Wif Pink?

2004-10-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

I just had my template changed to a girly pinkish colour, courtesy of Claire. Thanks. I thought it'll be a refreshing start for me. I've not really been blogging for sometime. If you're to notice my past posts are just some interesting emails that i cut and pasted to my blog. Recently, i've really nothing to express. Been busy with work and getting tired easily.

Made some new friends recently from my workplace. They're really friendly and sociable people. I went out with a few of them for drinks. However, nothing beats meeting up with my old friends. I went out with David and his gf, Claire today to shop and walk walk. I've not seen him for so long. I was really happy to see him again. Went out with Mingwei for supper too. Had a good chat with him too. Seriously, good friends are hard to come by. I'm beginning to miss Samuel now. Its been a long time since i've seen him. I met Weicuan for lunch on Tue and had a good chat. Siong ger is bz now wif his new gf ... which i match-make for him. haha. Met up with Kimmie last week for sushi ... she fed me really well ... thanks for the treat. She's returning me the favour for making her fat. ;) So happy to see her again. Made a new fren, Daniel. He's a chinese canadian with malay and philipino looks. Very knowledgeable n sociable guy. Been spending some time with him. Found out that he faces a lot the same relationship problems as me. Same wavelength. Cool.

I'm still afraid to let go ... ... only time will tell.

Chocolate Mathematics

2004-10-17T21:05:00.000+08:00

This is pretty neat how it works out. This is cool chocolate math!!!!!!!
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute....... Work
this out as you read. Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked
it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week you would like to have
chocolate. (try for more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)

3. Add 5. (for Sunday)

4. Multiply it by 50. I'll wait while you get the calculator.........
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1754.... If you
haven't, add 1753 .....

6. Now subtract the four digit year that yo u were born!

You should have a three digit number .

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you
want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are ........

YOUR AGE! ~ ( Oh YES, it IS!!!!! )

My Perspective

2004-10-12T20:25:00.000+08:00

Nowadays, youngsters truly live a life of freedom and excitment. I have lived and regretted living such a life. The hurts and pains left by such a loose and careless lifestyle leaves not only a scar but an everlasting wound. Nowadays, sexual diseases r on the rise, yet casual sex is freely accepted in our society now. I have no rights to preach cuz i am a great sinner too. Yet, i try to abstain from any relationships now that i feel would not bear any long-term consequences. I rather be lonely and miserable than be with someone only for temporal benefits. I am no saint. But i have seen lives being crushed and broken by the casual relationships people enter into. Its heart wrenching to see a person's belief in love turn to hate and disappointment. I live my life believing in finding a woman that i can share and love in eternity. I am not entirely consumed by this search but i do wish do settle down with a woman that i can trust, love and understand for the rest of my life. My perspective of relationship really changed quite a lot in the past few months. I used to think quite casually about relationships. I used to think i could always move on into another relationship after a break-up. But now, i would consider deeply and take lots of time before plunging into a relationship. Filling the void also requires the right person. I still club, drink, smoke, live my own life, go out with my friends, movies, games, ktv, dream, laze around, fart, work 3 jobs if i have time ... hahaha ... juz live life!

Corny Jokes

2004-10-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

Women's lives are hard.
Morning wash clothes.
Noon hang clothes
Evening keep clothes
Nite iron clothes
Midnight take off clothes
Few hours after midnight find clothes

To make it straight she pulls it.
To make it stand she rubs it.
To make it stiff she licks it.
To let it in she pushes it.
True?
Threading a needle is not easy.

A woman's husband died & she had him
cremated. She then blew his ashes
into the ocean and said " Sweetheart, this is my
last blowjob for you".

Girl: Mom what is a penis?
MoM: When you become a good girl you will get
one.
Girl: But mom what if I am not a good girl?
Mom: Then you will get many!

Schoolgirl:I do not want to take the sex Education
class.
Teacher: Why?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me that the final exam
will be Oral.

Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing
in the world is a PENIS.
This is because it can be lifted up even by a
simple thought.

I Need Medicine

2004-09-25T03:49:00.000+08:00

Weekends were always great to forward to last time. But nowadays, i just dread weekends. I hate it. I really hate it. My friends wants to chill out and relax over the weekends. Everyone is spending time away from home during the weekends. Somehow i feel compelled to go out too, even though i do not wish to. I want to party, i want to have fun, i want to be with my friends ... but on the hand i do not wish to step out of my house. I dread seeing couples being happy together. I feel a sense of emptiness and lonliness. I feel as if i am being swallowed bit by bit by a black void over the weekend. Though i may spend time with my frens till wee hours in the morning every weekend. But once i hit home, the void is right there waiting to consume my being slowly. Its so miserable. I do not understand exactly why. My heart cringes whenever i am sober over the weekends. I rather be dead drunk every friday or saturday, so that i'll sleep away my weekend faster. This void is really killing me. I need medicine. A cure. I have got caring friends who try to match-make me with other girls to help me get over this void in my life. I refused. I can't. My friend told me that i was stupid not take the opportunity to accept another girl in my life. I have a void but that does not mean i can fill it up easily with another love or girl.

Love As A Gift

2004-09-19T13:27:00.000+08:00

If you find yourself in love with someone who does
not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is
nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to
rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you
don't love him/her, feel honored that love came
and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift
you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not
cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you,
and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys,
even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in
love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do
not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go.
There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will
know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love
chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for
all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel
the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out
and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in
you.

Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it
to the world around you in anyway you can. There
is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so
long without love, they understand love only as a
need. They see their hearts as empty places that
will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love
as something that flows to them rather than from
them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing,
but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their
love as need. They cease to be someone who
generates love and instead become someone
who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and that it can be made to grow only by giving it
away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love
has its own time, its own seasons, and its own
reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it
or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only
embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it
comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your
heart or from the heart of your lover, there is
nothing you can do and there is nothing you
should do.

Love always has been and always will be a
mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment
in your life.

Inside A Girl's Mind

2004-09-16T01:37:00.000+08:00

When girls are quiet, Millions of
things are running in their mind.

When girls are not arguing, They are
thinking deeply.

When girls look 'staringly' at you, They
are wondering how long you will be around.

When girls answer "i'm fine" after a
few seconds, They are not at all fine.

When girls stare at you, They are
wondering why are you lying.

When girls lay on your chest, They are
wishing for you to be theirs forever.

When girls call you everyday, They are
seeking for your attention.

When girls want to see you everyday,
They want to be loved and pampered by you.

When girls sms u everyday, They miss you
and want you to reply at least once.

When girls say I LOVE YOU, They mean
it.

When girls say that they can't live
without you, They have made up their mind
that you are their future.

Finally..
When girls say "i miss you", No one
in this world can miss you more than them..

A Girl I Met

2004-09-08T21:44:00.000+08:00

A Curious Girl

She kept staring at me

She is so sweet

I was on the way to NUH in the shuttle bus when this little girl kept staring at me. So i decided to take a few shots of her.

Are You In Love?

2004-09-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

When you are together with that someone, you
pretend to ignore that person. But when that
special someone is not around, you might look
around to find them. At that moment you are in
love.

Although there is someone else who always
makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might
only go to that special someone. Then you are in
love.

Although that special was supposed to have
called you long back, to let you know of their safe
arrival, your phone is quiet. You are desperately
waiting for that call! At that moment you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail
from that special someone than other many long e-
mails, you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase
all the messages in your answering machine
because of one message from that special
someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you
would not hesitate to think of that special
someone, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is
just a friend", but you still cannot avoid that
person's special attraction. At that moment, you
are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone
appears in your mind, then you are in love with
that person.

Is it really true tat having such thoughts would signify that u're in love with tat person? Cuz i keep having such thoughts ... but i dun tink i am in love at all.

What Is Your Kink Quiz?

2004-08-31T04:50:00.000+08:00

Take the quiz: "What Is Your Kink?"

Submission
You live to serve! You're most excited when someone else takes the reins and controls the situation. You're happy to do whatever will make your partner happy, even if it isn't your favorite thing to do. In the bedroom, you aim to please. Your motto is, Yes Sir/Ma'am!

How To Lose A Girl Fast!

2004-08-27T01:40:00.000+08:00

I got this from some Dating Guru, David DeAngelo from U.S. How true are these pointers? I hope to have some feedback from guys and especially girls. Thank you.

1) Call Her All The Time

If you like someone, it's logical that you're going
to want to let them know, right?

Well, only if you like the idea of coming across
like a total Jack-Wuss. I just made that up, by the
way. Combination of Jackass and Wuss. Not sure if I
like it, but I'm going to go with it.

Where was I?

Yea, calling her all the time.

Calling all the time is usually triggered by INSECURITY
and NEEDINESS. It sounds like a good idea, but it
almost NEVER is.

A great way to lose a girl before you even have
her. We might call this one "Have Prevention" even.

2) Offer To Take Her Somewhere "Nice"

What do most guys do when they meet a girl that
they "really" like?

Well, they call her up, and they get into a boring
conversation about schools and families and jobs and
100 other painfully boring things... and when they
finally realize that they've been on the phone for
an hour, they realize that they'd better do SOMETHING
soon... because she's starting to talk about having
to go wash her dog...

So what do they do?

They think to themselves "Self, you'd better get
up some nerve and ask her out. Hey! Self! I have a
GREAT idea. Ask her to go out with you to a REALLY
NICE place. She'll be far more likely to want to do
that, and besides, then she'll know that you REALLY
like her...".

And what does this REALLY communicate?

Right, right.

That you have the confidence to just ask her to
spend time with you for NO REASON other than the fact
that you want to... and that you must not be WORTH
spending time with - without some kind of "meal incentive".

Meal Incentive... lol... I crack myself up.

Well, this is one more example of something that
"sounds good" in the moment, but is BAD BAD BAD for
business.

3) Do "Thoughtful" Things From The Beginning

What's better than a nice, thoughtful guy showing
up at the door with flowers and candy for the first
date?

Well, to quote an old Saturday Night Live episode,
"Throwing an entire box of thumb tacks on the floor,
and rolling around in them naked".

Or maybe taking one of those... you know... SERRATED
KNIVES... yea, that's it... and putting it between your
big toe and second toe and slicing back and forth really
fast... and then pouring... you know... HOT SAUCE...
yea, that's it... on the wound!

I hate it when that happens!

But we men do this kind of thing all the time...
because it sure sounds good in the moment.

By the way, don't try the thumb tack thing or the
hot sauce thing UNLESS you're considering purchasing
flowers and candy to bring to a first date. In that
case, please take these measures to prevent yourself
from acting on the uncontrollable urges.

If you come on too strong, you appear just like
every other predictable Wussyboy that has ever tried
to make himself look better by giving gifts and food
and favors in exchange for attention and approval.

4) Tell Her How You "Feel" About Her Early On

This might be one of my favorites.

I'm starting to think that us guys must come stock
with a mechanism that actually compels us to open
our BIG FAT MOUTHS and screw things up with only the
BEST women.

I'll call this the "Feeling Confessor" mechanism.
It is triggered by strong feelings of attraction and
emotion toward an unusually attractive woman.

I've talked to A LOT of attractive women in my
life. And they all have one similar experience to
share...

For some UNKNOWN and UNGODLY reason, men just seem
to LOVE telling SUPER HOT women how they FEEL within
the first couple of dates.

And I also get a lot of emails from men, as you
might realize.

One of the common emails I get goes a little something
like this:

"David, I met this unbelievably hot girl... she's
smart, interesting, successful... everything seemed
to be going well... so I decided to tell her how I
felt... and for some reason she said that she needs
some "space" and some "time to be alone"... I don't
get it..."

Again, when you do this you're making all kinds
of huge mistakes... and basically doing everything
you can to LOSE her.

5) Keep Telling Her How You Feel When She Needs Space

And if the last example wasn't painful enough,
most guys usually like to use this final "nail in
the coffin" technique as well...

Here's the situation:

You've met a girl you really like. Maybe you've
gone out with her a few times. Doesn't matter.

You do all the things you can think of to SCREW
IT UP, and you finally succeed.

You prove to her that you just don't get it, and
you don't know how to handle a woman like her.

So she says "I need some space" or "I need some
time to myself".

And what do most guys do?

Of course. They KEEP telling her how they feel.

And they do it in 100 annoying ways.

The thought most guys have is "If she only understood
how I REALLY FEEL ABOUT HER, then she would LOVE ME".

It's painful just typing the words.

So there you have it.

Part of the magic formula for losing a girl fast.
Interesting, isn't it?

But there's a much DEEPER message here.

The message is this:

If you don't understand the process of how to make
women feel ATTRACTION for you, including the things
to AVOID doing, then you're not going to have success.

Not knowing the rules of a game makes it very difficult
(or impossible) to win.

And, unfortunately, us guys have a HUGE disadvantage
when it comes to women and dating...

We have emotional responses to situations that take
over our "thinking", and make us do all the wrong things.

We usually sabotage OURSELVES.

Well, the good news is that it does NOT have to
be this way. There is a BETTER way.

If you found this particular discussion interesting,
then you're probably read to learn the DEEPER secrets
of how to be more successful with women and dating.

If you're ready to STOP losing women faster than
you can meet them, then it's probably time for you
to step up and get yourself an education about how
to attract women and KEEP them attracted.

Magical Name Acronym Generator!

2004-08-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

R	Radiant
A	Altruistic
Y	Yum
M	Mysterious
O	Odd
N	Neat
D	Dysfunctional

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

A Brief Moment In Time

2004-08-21T03:19:00.000+08:00

My blog is always a rememberance of the events that i hold dear to my heart. I am like a painter who sees something that he likes and captures the thought or the feeling in a picture. I use my handy camera hp at times to capture such images. Or i use my blog to write such moments for refresh my forgetful memory. The drawback of my habit is that at times the memories hit me like a shotgun to my head.

I wished i had a photographic memory today or at least some form of camera that i could snap pictures at a point of time today. Today at Wisma Mc, i wished i could capture the moment when my eyes met with hers. Wah ... my heart just crumpled ... the longing in my heart was a little hard to bear.

... ... ... 我要我要你过的比谁都要好 ... ... ...

The Long Walk

2004-08-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

The past few days i have been walking and walking long distances. There were many things out there to see as i travelled from point A and B. But it can be agonisingly lonely walking alone especially when my heart is burdened. Sadness dwells in my mind and heart. Therefore, i carried on walking and walking. Each time i began walking, i push myself to walk further. I wanted to numb myself. But i could not bear releasing the memories. That unforgetable smile in my mind. That smell that carried on lingering in my head. That laughter and the voice that still echos in my ears. I just feel so sad.

Walked past a pet shop today and saw a cute little doggie by the window. Took 2 pics of the puppy. Its so useful having a camera hp. Is it cute?

Cute Doggie

Come on ... face me

安静

2004-08-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

1 More Candle To My Cake

2004-08-04T02:11:00.000+08:00

I had a wonderful birthday this year. It was not extravagant nor was it fantastic. It was a very simple celebration with my sweet heart. It was Kimmie who made me really happy. Initially, i was feeling a little down and tired cause i have not been sleeping well the past few days ... hurhur i suspect it could be some withdrawal symptons. Ha! Or probably i kept eating suppers that made my tummy feel uncomfortable.

I did not really plan anything at all to celebrate my birthday. I just did not know what i really wanted to do. Cracked my head a little. But decided to just go with the flow. After all its my birthday, i get to choose what i like to do. And i just wanted to spend time with Kimmie.

When i saw Kimmie approaching me from her office with a small paper bag, immediately i knew! Haha ... my darling bought me more presents. She had already bought me so many presents prior to my birthday, yet she still went to buy me really 2 nice tops for me. OMG! So many presents!!! Hahaha ... its feeling like Xmas now. She's pampering me ... haha ...

We went for a simple dinner at Pizza Hut. Had my first Seafood Supreme pizza in my entire life. OMG! All i can say is, go for real seafood! I had chili satay sauce crabs on monday evening. Damn shiok! 3 small crabs for only $18 at Kuali restaurant near my house. Delicious! Yummy.

After Pizza Hut, i still had no idea how to celebrate my birthday. Then Kimmie suggested KTV. Hehe. Suddenly i liked the idea! I've been a little caught up with the KTV craze. I did not really like to sing last time. But after singing with Kimmie, i begun to appreciate my own off-key low pitch voice. She has been very encouraging too. Learning to tackle new songs also gave me a chance to refresh my chinese. Yeah, so off we went to K-Box, my first time there too.

At first, it was hard getting used to the sound system there. We prefer the Party World KTV rooms and sound system. But after a few adjustments, i was able to sing better than previous ktv sessions. Haha ... its either my voice was modified by the mike or maybe it was the Seafood Supreme. Hurhur. Enjoyed singing some of the songs, especially Beyond - Love! Damn i love that song.

My poor Kimmie has been down with flu recently. Despite her not feeling well, she still sang duets with me in K-Box. Even though she could not really hear well and sing due to flu and sore throat. And too bad we discovered F.I.R. songs too late, only managed to sing only 1 song, 我们的爱. Tired as she was, she was always smiling at me, trying to make me feel happy. Her smile was tremendously lovely yesterday.

Happy birthday to me! Happy happy birthday to me!!! Out of the many presents i have received, i am truly happy that Kimmie shared my birthday with me! And i want to thank all my good friends and family for wishing me a very happy birthday.

Gracias mucho mis amigos y kimmie!

Some Of My LG Pics

2004-07-30T00:10:00.000+08:00

Seed of Chucky?

Kimmie n Raymie

Arty Stuff

Do U See A Kiss On My Cheek?

Gain Some Lose Some

2004-07-28T15:37:00.000+08:00

Recently, i have received a number of gifts from my relatives, friends and sweet heart for my coming birthday. Its not even my birthday yet. But i have already been using them. Haha.

I have received an LG 7050 mobile phone, Issey Miyaki perfume, DKNY watch and some cash. Its always good to be on the receiving end of it. Its like Xmas for me. I've always loved Xmas since young because of the spirit of giving. Heh. Yeah i like to receive lotsa lotsa presents. But i only love giving them to the one that is closest to me. :P

I have always wanted a camera mobile phone. But did not really want to spend unneccesary money on one that does not really suit my budget and needs. My eye was always on LG 7100. Even though many of my friends named LG = "Lousy Goods/Grade". They claimed that LG sucks big time because its not durable. But hey, Nokia ,Sony Ericcson and Motorola suffers the same problems too. I go for budget mobile phones with functions that i require. After all i change handphones almost every year.

My LG 7050 has got real smooth interface. It does not jam or hang. It has a VGA camera with a standard resolution of 640 x 480, with a 4x zoom. And up to 9 multi-shots. Pretty cool. It comes along with free hands-free ear-piece, 2 batteries and most importantly a PC sync package. The only setback is that the ear-piece is quite troublesome to attach to the hp. But clarity is there and reception is very strong. Normally i cannnot receive any reception from the ground floor of my house, but surprisingly LG is able to pick up Starhub reception!

I have received many things recently. I have lost some things too. But i'm afraid that i am going to lose something precious to me soon.

Celebration Season

2004-07-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

Ryan

For two consecutive weeks, I have been going Liquid Room to celebrate my friends' birthdays. Its getting so boring and draggy there already. Please don't be mistaken. I still think that the place there ROCKS. But its getting overly crowded with rowdy western foreigners. One western foreigner is almost equivalent to two asians. When they dance and move about, it tends to get a little pushy and uncomfortable. Or probably I'm just tired of the clubbing scene. Everything looks so messy and chaotic. Many clubbers just like to let loose and be free to express their problems in the progressive house music there. I think I'm getting bored of clubbing. Always feel so tired after that. So I doubt I would celebrate my birthday there this week.

Had a great time catching up with my youngest aunt, Jocelyn on Saturday. My parents invited my relatives over to celebrate my younger brother's birthday as well as one of my aunt's birthday. I asked Aunt Jocelyn to bring her golden Labrador, Ryan. She was so nice as to rush home from Sentosa to bring her dog to my house via taxi. I missed Ryan. Even though he was only attached to my aunt and only listened to her commands. But I have always like dogs, especially dogs with strong character. Aunt Jocelyn has got three dogs; Ryan, Mel and Megan. All three dogs have exceptional different characters.

Ryan is the sensitive new-age guy type of dog. He looks good, strong and independent. But he is really a very sensitive, shy, attention-seeking and cowardly dog. But he protects my aunt so fiercely. Mel is the mature woman type of dog. She is the oldest dog amongest them. She is caring, sensible, very independent, takes control of situation and able to please people easily. Megan is special. I think she was born in April because she is so much like an Aries. Haha. Her ways are so unpredictable and so unique. She appears so strong and dominant but is always so vulnerable inwardly.

Ryan would be my favourite if I wanted to show-off a dog to someone. Because he is so handsome and silly. But Mel is my favourite, whenever I went to my aunt's house, Mel would just seat next to me and cuddle up. Allowing me to sayang her without much fear. Whereas Ryan and Megan would be chasing each other about in the house. Mel is like the balance between two chaotic forces. Whenever she steps in, Ryan and Megan would stop fooling around. She wields power and affection firmly. I'm always impressed whenever she does that.

Sunday i went shopping, walking, strolling and KTV with Kimmie. It was so fun just being together with her. I was so so so so happy. Until something dropped on the t-shirt Kimmie gave me as we were making our way back at Somerset MRT around 11 pm. Oh boy, i nearly wanted to pick up all the stones lying on the floor and shoot the bird that casually released its tension on me! Arghhhhh!!! Shit happens!

Recently, i have been reading a self-help book known as "The Road Less Traveled". Something really hit me when i was reading the first few chapters of the book. I thought it'll be great if i could share this with my friends. Every now and then, whenever i faced certain problems, i would just shove it aside and think that i'm not capable of fixing the problem. But i have learnt that if only i took time, a lot of problems could be solved. Some problems require lesser time, some much more time. But if only i took the TIME ... then the problems could be solved by me.

Now i sound like a neurotic ... hahaha .. HOLA HOLA!!!!

What Is True Love?

2004-07-20T00:40:00.000+08:00

Bvlgari Diamond

Definitions of "Love" from www.dictionary.com

1) A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2) A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3) Sexual passion. Sexual intercourse. A love affair.
4) An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
5) A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
6) An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.
7) A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language. The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.
8) Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.
9) often Love Christianity. Charity.
10) Sports. A zero score in tennis.

So what is true love? Does it exist for relationships? Is it still possible for this era?

True love to me is undying choice of affection and sacrifice for a love one. As long as couples can follow the wedding rites till the end of their time, then true love exists. The wedding rites; "Will you love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all other, keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live?" Is it difficult? It is up to the couple to decide.

I have a close friend of mine who is a young single mother. Nearly brought to tears when I talked to her about her kid's future. I felt moved that she was constantly worried about supporting her son since she was not earning much. I admired her resolve and resourcefulness in bringing up her son single-handledly. Love and sacrifice for her son.

My dad has always believed in living a simple and healthy lifestyle. However, life has never been simple for my dad as he went in and out of hospitals throughout my 24 years of life. Operations after operations, i could never really remember how i felt when he was in there. Then on the first day of this year, my dad collapsed and went into a minor shock. I sent my dad to hospital in the ambulance. When i was filling up some paper work at the hospital, my mom came. Her eyes were filled with worry but not with tears. She prayed. Seeking for God's hand upon my dad. Then i saw streams of tears flowing. The tears were filled with love accumulated over the years for my dad. As the years went by and each time my dad is in the hospital, my mom reacted differently. Her bond with my dad grew stronger.

Love is never truly just feelings for a particular person. Many people take love as its only an affection, which would explain the increased numbers of divorce cases. But to me, Love is about making choices. Choosing to sacrifice. Loving someone is never easy. There are always heartaches. Without enduring such pains, Love cannot be revealed.

Does it exist?

Weekend Burn

2004-07-19T19:26:00.000+08:00

Retro ME

Hey check out the new pic that was taken by Kimmie! Heh i think that i look pretty suave in it. Hurhur.

Had one hell of a long weekend. Cleared my IPPT on Thursday! Shopping with Kimmie on Friday. KTV, movie and clubbing with Kimmie on Saturday. So Sunday was a day of rest.

Too bad the IPPT i took was at a SAFRA gym, otherwise I could have collected $200 incentive for getting silver. Initially I just wanted to try out and see if I would be able to pass. Never did I expect most of my static stations I was able to achieve silver and gold points. I failed so many of my previous attempts at IPPT when I was doing in-camp training. Probably that time I carried around too much fats. I was a heavy 76kg just before I ORD in Feb 2003. Now i'm only a feather-weight 62kg and standing at 178cm tall. How did I do it?

Let me feed you some very unhealthy lifestyle that can reduce your weight fast. Skip lunch. Eat only bread for breakfast and lunch. Eat a full meal dinner. Then sleep real late. Drink very little water daily. Then go jog or do light-weights 3x a week. I guarantee that you would lose weight. Firstly, the lesser water you consume, the lesser body weight you would weigh. However, your body would feel very heaty. So, if you are not used to it. DO NOT TRY IT!!! Push your body to jog fast ... real fast ... till you feel as if your heart would jump out! This way you are causing the heart to perform at above 70% capacity. Very good for perspiring and purging all the soluble fatty substances.

Worrying, sulking and being broke is a sure way to lose weight. Everytime i worry or am unhappy, i would feel hungry. Always searching for something to munch. So, as long as you are broke, then you can avoid buying tibbits or having late suppers outside. Depression is a known factor to cause a person to either lose or gain weight fast.

I always believe that there are always two sides of a coin. Everything can become either good or bad. Take for instance, depression is a bad thing. But it has helped me lose weight. And together with my training, i was able to achieve silver for my IPPT. However, please do not follow my example if you are weak in heart.

Its all about choosing your path and destiny. I have always learned from my mentors to take a stumbling block and turn it to a stepping stone. No matter how hard going life is, i would always remember that it is a marathon. Always walking, jogging, running or at times falling. Always reaching out for long-term goals and not for short-term goals.

I have failed so many times. Always disappointing my love one, family and friends. But still life goes on, to rebuild my dream.

Love And Friendship

2004-07-15T12:53:00.000+08:00

Precious Moments

Recently, a gal friend called and poured out her troubles regarding her boyfriend who was "put away". I pondered on two things when she related her story to me. Friendship and love.

My friend was very upset because her boyfriend had to be put away just a day before their 3 years 4/5/6 months anniversary. She felt lost,confused and sad. So she called me. It was there and then that i assumed the position of a Listener. I used to always listen to my friends pouring out their soap opera stories to me. But it has been a long since i have done it. Probably because my heart was burdened too. I felt quite honoured that she chose me to talk to. It was as if i could be trusted and relied on.

As i listened, i realised that the life that she chose to take was self-sacrificing and probably foolish. But Love is foolish in some ways. She chose to wait for her boyfriend to come back to her. Is it worthwhile? Would she still want to spend a lifetime with him? Only she knows the answer. I am just a listening ear. The decision lies with her.

Time spent with our love ones are precious. Even though at times, there are unhappy moments. But every moment is precious. Its alright to fight and argue as long as its for the best interest of the relationship. I realise that we have to take life's challenges as it comes. I always believe that nothing long-lasting and good would come by without struggles. Always treasure moments. Always take pictures because each picture taken is frozen in time. If one day, our love one is not by our side ... it'll be too late to regret.

Funny Day Out

2004-07-09T13:57:00.000+08:00

Ms Act Cute Meanie

Yesterday i brought my darling for a movie that i thought was bitchy and silly. But "Mean Girls" absolutely rocked! It has been such a long time since i laughed so much and thought funny things. Damn ... its funny that i would want to watch a show about silly, bitchy, plastic girls fighting over a guy. But hey, this show is not a no-brainer show ... its sensitive and seriously funny too. It was the right mixture to make serious people like me crack up and laugh!

I truly had a great time with Kimmie last night. We spotted about 3 odd couples watching the same show as us. After the movie, we spotted another two more odd couples. Heh. I was like thinking ... they are odd because of great difference in appearance ... one couple was of different colour ... another couple the ang mo guy was short but gf was a little taller ... then a weird girl couple ... yet some of them looked lovingly together. Truly love knows no boundaries.

I would always steal glances at Kimmie ... secretly admiring her whenever she smiles and laughs and when she looks bewildered. Hahaha. Yeah it was a great night out for me. After i sent her home, i was seriously starving. I was so hoping that the fried chicken stall was still opened. But too bad, so i ended up buying kimchi instant noodles.

I have been feeling very hungry these few days. Probably because i have been jogging. I need to clear my IPPT before first week of August! I feel that jogging helps me stay clear-headed and positive. The Endorphins produced makes people feel good.

Endure ... jog ... endure ... jog ... but if you need instant feel good, just watch "Mean Girls" or SEX!

Love Like A Battle?

2004-07-08T12:43:00.000+08:00

Marriage is a crazy thing

Last night, i was so damn bored because i could not use the pc and i was home. So i decided to watch the korean movie "Marriage is a crazy thing" on the telly. Wow! Although there were no nude scenes, but the story plot captivated me from the start till the end. Colours were captured in a simple but delightful mood. Great for entertaining me. I love to see a beautiful mirage of colours presented to me in life. It makes life kinder.

After the movie, i pondered over it for quite some time. Certain parts of the movie seemed to identify with my life currently. But what really struck me was that Love is not simple. Life is never simple anyway. And what really irks me was that how could someone want to love two different persons for a long period of time.

The basic story plot of this movie revolves around a guy and a girl. They met on a blind date and had great sex. They want to get married but did not because they had different needs that they did not want to iron out. The girl got married to a doctor but would always go back to the other guy on weekends to have great sex and companionship. In the end, the guy was sad because the girl could never be with him all the time. So they broke up. It was a story of a effortless relationship that had no results. No pain, no gain!

When i was young, I constantly had this nightmare whereby I was in the centre of a battlefield. Warriors on horses and soldiers on foot on both sides would come charging to the centre of the battle field to confront each other. I could always remembered the tremors on the ground and the deafening screams and noises they make. I always wake up shakened and perspiring. Yes, to me a new relationship is like that.

In every relationship, there are always flaws. I always view new relationships as if its 2 forces fighting on a battlefield. Two forces clash and trash it out. Then as time goes by, the two forces becoming more wary of war so they sit and talk about improving their relations. But every now and then, there are always secret wars waged among both of them. All this are done so that finally a beneficial relationship of trust would be forged. Then as time goes by, most of the flaws would be ironed out. Fight ... fight ... fight!!! Love ... love ... love!!!

Then i wondered why would anyone want to take so much effort and time to do all these things just to get married. I believe that such effort is well-spent to put a relationship through fire so that the couple could have a chance to live together meeting each others needs.

The Aries That I Love

2004-07-07T00:36:00.000+08:00

My Aries Babe

Aries in Love

Aries is the cardinal-fire sign which translates into life loving and highly energized and this describes their needs concerning love as well. As a partner they make life exciting, albeit occasionally tiring, and you cannot help but feel rather joyful and light hearted when you're in their company. It's that blend of innocence (the lamb) with pure power (the ram) that is so captivating about an Aries mate.

They don't understand the meaning of the word routine, however, and boredom is the number one killer of Aries romances. Aries loves as boldly and as strongly as it experiences life. From sports to personal challenges Aries are usually not happy unless they are moving after something.

With Mars as their ruling planet oftentimes their entire lives are about channeling and putting that immense power to work for them. It's not uncommon to find an Aries firmly committed to a long term volatile arrangement that leaves those around them wondering why they would stay. The truth is they often thrive on that kind of intensity and it can do far less damage than existing within a relationship that has grown routine and stagnant. When an Aries loves they LOVE.

The partner is hoisted up onto a pedestal whether they want to be there or not and they become a treasure to be protected and guarded passionately. The love of an Aries life often becomes the driving motivation for their challenging goals and the phrase, "I did this for YOU" is one heard in many of the best Aries relationships.

Aries Sexuality

An Aries sexuality is driven, powerful and almost a feat of showmanship when they are truly captivated. Since Aries tend to be action/goal oriented sex can become a series of higher plateaus involving anything their fertile imaginations can conjure up. Aries are the zodiac show-off and the bedroom isn't excluded from their dramatic and captivating ability to get partners undivided attention. The more appreciated they feel the more they invest in their lovemaking and private boundaries exist only to give an Aries something to leap over. Marathons of passion, spontaneous liaisons in the most unexpected places and inexhaustible stamina are all part of the Aries basic sexual make-up.

The Long Term Story

Lots of pampering and a lot of attention are needed with an Aries lover as they thrive on feeling they are number one in your life. They love to do the initial chasing and are usually not attracted to being chased but once their heart is given you can't ever over-do your displays of affection. While they can be jealous and possessive you cannot show the same qualities and any kind of clinging is a sure fire way to drive them into new pastures. Under all the Aries bravado and show is actually a rather innocent child who simply wants to explore the wonderful world around them and to be appreciated. The more encouraged they are in either area the more exuberant they become.

Positive Traits in Love

Exuberance, expressiveness, passion, generosity, adoration, protectiveness, adventuress, fun loving, creative and energized lovemaking, and devotion.

Negative Traits

Temperamental, jealous, possessive, ego oriented, inconsiderate, reckless, fickle

What an Aries Likes

Being number one, A positive attitude, A life loving comrade, A. partner who has style or a 'look', Being Seen Getting gifts, Loyalty, Being active together. Romance and dazzle.

What an Aries Dislikes

Being bored, Being chased, Sloppiness in a mate, Criticism, Anything mundane, Feeling unappreciated, Feeling inferior, Losing, Having to repeat things. Displays of insecurity.

Aries Love Keywords

Dramatic, romantic, original, passionate, energized, creative, spontaneous

May the protective, adoring, playful, inventive, generous, supportive, sensual, warm, joyful Raymie Leo take care of his little Aries

Blackout

2004-06-30T20:32:00.000+08:00

Grass Moth

Tue, 29th Jun 2004 - Blackout

Finally, i experienced a blackout in my district after all my years of growing up in Singapore. And the funniest thing was that my younger brother thought it was his fault. Cuz at that exact point of time, he was trying to plug out the faulty mouse cable from my computer. Then the whole neighborhood around my area became pitched black. He came running into my room and panicking and saying "oh no ... oh no .... it's my fault!" . Haha ... what a coincidence!!!

Then i realised one thing there was nothing to do in complete pitch darkness. No fan ... no aircon ... no tv ... no hifi ... no lights ... no computer ... NOTHING! Even starhub mobile and singtel telephone lines network was down ... apparently too many people were calling and jamming the network. I was getting hot and frustrated. Really really going crazy! Especially with the kids in my neighborhood congregating to celebrate the blackout with fireworks and shouting.

I always worry for nothing! I got a bloody worrying mind. I kept worrying abt my love one. Till i just could'nt lay on my bed anymore. Moreover, it was getting so warm and humid. So i took a long walk to Serangoon central alone. Till my good friend, David called and decided to meet up with me. Had supper ... bak ku teh ... yummy!

Something struck me when i was walking towards Serangoon central. People would always move towards the light and stay there if they can afford it. Nobody really wants to stay in the dark. We are like the grass moth constantly being attracted by light sources. And trying to shun away from darkness. Only those who are lost will embrace darkness.

I would'nt want to in the dark. I want to see and be seen. I have eyes for sight, ears to hear and my heart to feel. I shall not be in the dark! Only when i'm down ... ...

Beyond

2004-06-29T20:26:00.000+08:00

My fav HK band

Love

传来的声音好熟悉一个人好像在梦里
一直在想念你远方的你不要哭泣
因为我从来没故意伤害了你的心
你最爱问我什么时候可以陪伴着你
你对我说过不能入睡太累一个人太空虚
轻轻的呼吸在耳边你是否已陶醉在怀里
漫漫长夜里拥抱你我只想对你说
I Love you

for my special one ... for those who r in love

What is in a Name?

2004-06-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

Who really is Raymond after all? Who am i to people? Who am i?

Countless times in life individuals come face to face with this question. This question bears much importance in relation to the people around us. I have been called many names in the past and present ... ...

Son. Child. Clown. Dog. Father. Brother. Sister? Disciple. Betrayer. Two-timer. Buddy. Best friend. Coward. Leo. Sergeant. Platoon Sergeant. Friend. Adviser. Councilor. Wet blanket. Loser. Fucker! Leader. Teacher. Weakling. Flinger. Playboy. InFiniTe. Jun Rong. Choon Yong. Darling. Sweetheart. Salesman. Dirt. Angel. Raymie. Ray. Asshole! Ah bao. Dear dear. Pig. Sleepy head. Bum. Dumb. Slow. Stupid. Last but not least ... Lover.

I know one thing. I am Raymond. Elder son of Michael and Shirley. But there are many names that people call me at times that ripped my heart open. Saddens me tremendously. There are other names that people call that make my heart glad. Life is never easy ... i can never please everyone nor am i a psychic that can read minds to give people what they want in life. I am only human.

Names given kindly or harshly by people close to my heart can change my life. I was once called a frog by a favourite auntie because i sounded like i croaked when i sang. From then on, I have always shunned away from using my vocals for singing. It changed my perspective of myself. I was once called "father" by a little boy that i helped tutored. He was like my son. I cared for him and loved him like my own. I felt his love for me as i became the father figure in his life. Haha ... i was once someone's "father".

I am currently a Lover to one special person in my heart. And there is no other place for another.

Words may seem casual. But it is a double-edged sword that can build or tear down lives. May my words in my blog and action in reality be judged by the people who care for me and read my posts.

5 Senses

2004-06-25T10:51:00.000+08:00

Dancing Lights

Every able-bodied individual should have at least 5 sensory organs and probably a 6th sense for highly intuitive individuals. Every sensory organ that we have is unique. Its capabilities range from allowing us to touch, smell, taste, hear, sense ... ... but also to conjure images and dreams in our minds.

Last night, i had a dream. A really good feeling dream. It was probably due to my strong inner feelings in my heart. My subconscious probably merged the perfume that still lingered on my bed and the techno music that i was playing on my hifi set, and flooded my mind with memories of her dancing, smiling and laughing in her red t-shirt. It made my heart glad.

Kimmie spent so much time burning a cd for me last week. Yet i was not very appreciative on the surface. But deep down in my subconscious, whenever the music was played ... ... strong feelings and memories would come rushing back. I would remember her dancing.

The mind, heart and its sensory organs truly are wonders. The heart desires ... the mind strategizes how to achieve the desires of the heart ... organs go to work. Truly a work of God and not evolution.

The Fatal Breakdown

2004-06-24T11:00:00.000+08:00

9-11

How can we not remember the incident that brought America to its knees. I recalled being in camp that day, watching the second plane unleashing pain and terror onto the proud western nation. What truly happened? Who was to blame? Was it not enough for one tower to be brought down, but two?

Historians blame the bad blood between the Gentiles and Jews. People blame Osama bin Laden. Fingers pointed to religion. Politicians blame Bush and his right hand man.

Personally, i feel the finger-pointing should end. Follow the 90/10 rule. Kimmie kimmie sent me an interesting email regarding this sacred rule. Life is littered with 10% of situations that we have no control over. However, 90% of the time we can manage our feelings and turn the negative to a positve.

9-11 could have been avoided. Bush could have ordered their latest fighter planes to gun down the flying instruments of terror. However, "the fatal breakdown" was that there was a lack of communication between him and his right-hand man. Bush was unable to contact him. That breakdown caused much anguish and agony.

In this internet age, the flow of information is crucial for survival. May the twin towers event never happen again due to a communication breakdown. Such pains can be avoided. However, as true as it may be ... ... individuals refuse to break down their barriers to safeguard what is precious to their heart.

What is truly precious? ... ... ... i have found my Precious.

Purification and Paradise

2004-06-24T04:05:00.000+08:00

Rockin 1st mth with Linkin Park

In one hand, i have Purification. In the other, i have Paradise. Which one should i choose?

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (Purification), i shall fear no evil. For i have always believed that LOVE prevails. Only through purification, can i experience Paradise in its full glory.

Life is liken to a rollar-coaster ride. There are slight turns and sharp bends. No one achieves happiness and achievement without first experiencing pain and sacrifice. I hold on steadfast to Love as my guide to lead me on. I will never allow Love be wilted out of my life. This is my bond to you.

To those who can't wait to see me fail. I'll see you in hell!

The Wait Is Over - 22th Jun 2004

Many days have past with my poor Kimmie's heart yearning to be in the presence of Linkin Park's music. Many times have i offered to take her to the concert and allow her to soak up the raw hybrid rock music. But she refused, wanting me to save money for my future. I love her for that.

The day came ... it was our 1st mth anniversary ... i have decided to rebel against her wishes and purchase the tickets. That was where the magical moment arosed ... ... i have never seen anything in my life whereby my actions translated to true happiness!

I met up with Karen at her workplace. She looked bored and tired at first sight. Initially i told her that i would bring her for a picnic to celebrate our 1st mth. But then it looked cloudy, so i told her that i would bring her to see some married foreigners at padang. Immediately, her eyes lighted up ... her whole composure changed. She was happy and surprised. That was priceless!

A little painful sacrifice makes a long way ... ... Linkin Park truly ROCKS with Kimmie

A New Beginning ... 22th May 2004

2004-06-24T03:27:00.000+08:00

Sweetness In Captivity

For the uninitiated, she is my Karen. It never fails to keep me in awe at the magnificient invention of photography, whenever i see this picture. In this picture, pure sweetness and happiness are captured in eternity. She's so beautiful and so sweet.

I have yet to find anyone to place my gratitude for this angel that has descended onto my life recently. Anyone wanna claim the reward???

Well well ... it all begun under the watchful eyes of Shrek ... Sleeping beauty ... Gingerbread man ... on the 22th May 04. An agreement was made ... then our hearts were crossed out for purification and paradise.

Myself

2004-06-24T01:45:00.000+08:00

The Birth Of An Individual:

Who am i? I have always pondered on this thought. Who am i really?
What is my destiny? What do i really want to be?

These answers eluded me time and again. However, as the years pass by i begin to unfold the tapestry of my life bit by bit. I have currently only unfolded one quarter of it.

Long long time ago ... in the year 1979, a cute skinny baby boy was birth into the fine city of Singapore. This cute little skinny boy was known as Raymond aka InFiniTe.

Nannies:

I had very vague memories of my younger days. I could remember my younger brother and myself always having to stay with nannies, because both my parents were working full-time. Its quite an accommodating experience throughout those years. I had to be accustomed to the families and lifestyle of my nannies.

Most of them had customs and traditions that opposed that of my family. But hey ... Singapore is supposed to be multi-racial and harmonious. So i blended in. That probably explains why i am so versatile and adaptable in life.

I always remembered this sweet little nanny of mine who treated us with lots of ice-cream and movies and McDonalds. Oh my goodness!!! Thats what my parents would exclaim when they found out that i was fed with ice-cream. (It was believed that i had weak lungs due to extensive exposure to ice-cream by this fav nanny)

Rosyth Primary School

I grew up ... ... zipped past PSLE while studying in Rosyth Primary School. OMG ... whenever i mentioned my old old school, the rustic smell of tall leafy grasses would just hit me. It was such a small little field but it was filled with such great adventures. Stick insects, locusts, grasshoppers, snakes, spiders, 1.5m tall grasses ... ... what a tremendous playground! No modern HDB playground can come close to providing hours of thrills and danger.

My First Kiss

Hahaha one more memorable thing ... it was the year 1990 ... i had my first kiss ... on my HEAD! Hahaha ... furthermore it was on my gel-filled hair! There was this girl, Xinyi who plays the piano who was celebrating her bday on that fateful day. This girl has been openly declaring her lust for me since Primary 2! So on that fateful day, my helpful classmates wanted to fulfil her mad lust by getting her to kiss me! I was cornered at that time! No where to run! Then she came ... ... at the very last moment of her attempt ... i slo-mo matrix style and verved to one side. Hahaha and there i received my virgin kiss on my gel- filled hair.

Deyi Sec School

Many fateful memories and bonds were created here. My best friends in life were found here. Mr David Lau, the finest friend i could ever have. He is full of crap and nonsense. But whenever you need a listening ear or support, he will somehow be there. The other close friend is Mr Tan Ming Wei. Another entertainer that unwittingly provokes and humours me incessantly.

My First Girl

Her name was Yan Ting. She was the baddest, toughest, most rebellious and prettest girl in my express stream. I gave her my heart when i was in Sec 2. It was actually a competition amongst 3 girls. It was like a kiddy "Bachelor" game show. These girls took time to woo me in the day at school and at night hustler me with their voices over the phone. OMG ... at that time i thought i was so damn lucky!!!! What a threesome!!! Eventually i gave my heart to Yan Ting because she was the one whose character stood out from the crowd.

2 weeks after giving her my heart ... i decided it was time to give her a rose. Damn it was truly expensive at that time. I literally had to save for days just to get her a stalk. However, i was so shy that i did not even have guts to carry the flower around, let alone pass the flower to her. This is where buddies come in! Haha ... i made Mr David Lau bring the flower all the way home so that he could put it in a paper bag and pass it back to me. Then with the flower hidden in the paper bag, i gave away the flower.

Long story cut short ... i never held her hands ... kissed ... or make out with her. I was shy. Ok ... i was really shy at that time! Oh damn it!!!

Nanyang Polytechnic

Hooray ... i got into a biz poly course!!! I thought i was amongest the top students in my batch. Because biz course was so popular at that time! After years studying there, i realised that its such a general course. No specialisation. My boss always tells me, only with specialisation can we diversify to generalisation. My advice to students nowadays ... go SPECIALISE!!

It was the era in my life that i experienced freedom that i never had before. I had my first puff from my Leader, Koh Kok Chuan. Lost my virginity. Played basketball throughout the term. Fluked and repeated modules (1st time in my life ... that time). My first visit to a bungalow - Jeremiah's bungalow (separate guest house, mini lap pool, half basketball court, carpark for 10 cars, basement disco) in Bukit Timah.

Lyn Sia

Had a classmate, Lyn Sia came up to me 1 fateful day and asked ... "Can you see my nipples?" OMG ... i blushed so much ... actually she just wanted to ask me whether her nipples were showing up through her knitted blouse. Its no big deal to me now. But at that young age ... OMG ... i was so embarrassed. Furthermore she kept telling me that it was not her first time without bra. ArgH ... ...

Life goes on ... ... to b continued ... i'm currently 25 in 2004 ...

My Virgin Post

2004-06-23T23:25:00.000+08:00

Finally ... the truth will b out in the light!

For those who truly want to know the heart n desires of InFiniTe ... carry on reading. Its definitely only for pple who care for me.

I've no idea how many people are going to take time and effort to read thru my thoughts n feelings ... but anyhow ... read read ... u might juz b able to glean a few gems from my little basket of knowledge.